New Lyrics: "Perfect"

[popmusic_sux]

I posted this a couple times already but I think I might finally be done. I left my notebook in the car so I'll see if I can remember everything.

Perfect

She was meant for a perfect world,
one not meant for you or me.
She was taken from her fairy tale life,
like a shooting star into the night.

Whatever happened to the unwed mother
and her unborn child?
Left unloved, with nothing left to live for,
just a girl, she slowly fell apart.

Left alone by her sorry lover,
she sings a lovesick lullabye.
Lonely, with no where left to go,
she starts to think of suicide.

In a note she left, scribbled on the wall,
she said, "I'm not worried about a broken heart.
Try and listen, try and see what you'll be missing,
I've tried too hard and done my part"

Whatever happened to the unwed mother
and her unborn child?
Left unloved, with nothing left to live for,
just a girl, she slowly fell apart.

If any of you have any comments, I'm open to suggestions.

[CaNaDiAN,Eh?]

I really like it, I remember when you first posted it and I think it has improved a lot.

[lordgrudge]

Good lyrics :rolleyes:

Now you just need a simple progression, melody, and make all the girls cry :p

[Monkeymagic]

Happy little number isn't it? :D
Sounds ok to me - lyrics always sound a bit 'gay' to me anyway, until you put them to music. That's a good effort though IMO.

The 'lovesick lullaby' sounds familiar - I think I may have heard it another song - or maybe it's one of those things that just has a familiar feel.

:)

[rock axe]

pffff..
good lyric, but for me it's al bout the music, the sound, not the lyrics, I would make a melody etc. first, and then make up some lyrics.;

[Hawk]

Then you would go against the flow of the most popular band of all time.

[ricken89backer]

And that is Whom?

[Hawk]

Beatles.

Short.

[sweeppicker308]

thats stupid you make lyrics and melodys however you want
screw the beatles me and my freinds have always done it that we make the guitar,drum,bass parts first then we do the lyrics you match the words to the song
that seems easier to me

[Hawk]

thats stupid you make lyrics and melodys however you want
screw the beatles me and my freinds have always done it that we make the guitar,drum,bass parts first then we do the lyrics you match the words to the song
that seems easier to me

Slow down man.

I didn't say you had to do it either way, I was just saying you don't have to do it music first, and I gave an example of a massively popular band that showed success doing it that way.

There are many bands that do it the other way 'round. Most bands I think.

EDIT: I said it the way I did because of the Pfft.

[popmusic_sux]

The 'lovesick lullaby' sounds familiar - I think I may have heard it another song - or maybe it's one of those things that just has a familiar feel.

Just for the heck of it, I googled "lovesick lullaby" and apparently a band called "Big Rude Jake" has a song with the same name. Needless to say, I haven't heard it.